Same Sex Marriage

Same sex married couples holding handsHow do you feel about same-sex marriage and raising children? I am totally for it and not just because I am gay myself. I know I could give a child a great upbringing with two dads and no mother. I do think mothers can play an extremely huge role in a child’s life; truthfully, I would admit possibly even a greater role than fathers do in our society because the sad fact is most single parent households are headed by mothers. I believe mothers can offer a child many positive things that words can’t describe. However, so can a father, and a child can have a wonderful, fulfilling life growing up in a household with same sex-parents whether it is comprised of two mothers or two fathers.

Children of same-sex parents are likely to be cherished and highly valued because same-sex parents have to work extremely hard to have children. If a same-sex couple wants a child they have many hoops they have to jump through that most heterosexual couples do not have to. Same-sex couples have to plan, adopt, find a surrogate, or resort to artificial insemination, all of which takes time, patience, and financial planning. For straight couples, children are usually easier to bring into the family, sometimes too easy, and many unplanned babies are born every day.

Unplanned pregnancies can result in a child growing up in a household that may not be ideally suited for a child at that moment in time. Kids born into homes with straight couples are not automatically loved or born to “good” parents. Our foster care system is filled with children born to straight couples. Having a mommy and a daddy does not mean they can’t be abused emotionally as well as physically, neglected, or will be raised with morals and values. I can’t be persuaded that a home like that is better just because the parents are straight than a home with a loving same-sex couple that does none of those things.

Some people think that a same sex-couple would ruin a child but I have to say straight people give birth to gay children. If that is the case, what are straight people doing “wrong” to create this as parents? I don’t feel that someone’s sexual orientation is something that is anything that can be changed. It is something they are just born with, something that is just what is. I myself knew as a little kid I was always different, at the time I didn’t really know what it meant. I knew guys did something for me that girls really didn’t but as an eight-year-old kid you’re not too sure how to pin point what that means. As you get older you connect the dots, but society, especially many years ago, wanted us all to believe that being gay meant something was wrong; that is it not normal and weird. I mean who wants to be weird; no one wants to be different socially right? We all want to be normal, and not feel excluded from living a normal life. Unfortunately, I know men who pretend to be straight just so they can live a “normal” life, have children, paint this pretty picture on the outside, then fast forward a few years into their lives and you will find that they are so unhappy and miserable.

What is the problem if you want to marry another human being who happens to be the same sex as you are? I mean, I don’t know how that would affect another straight couple in some negative way or intrude on their happiness. When heterosexual couples cannot have a biological child no one condemns them for trying to adopt, but same-sex couples often run into obstacles. In fact, consider for a moment, that nearly all babies placed for adoption in the first place, were placed by parents that were heterosexual.

Children see past things that adults sometimes do not. Children see past skin color; past so many things as to what normal is because to kids normal could be anything. Children that are raised in NYC may live in an apartment on the 12th floor, only take the train to school, and carry groceries with mom for five blocks back home. To some kids that is normal, they have no idea what other normal could be out there. Some kids live in the country, and the bus picks them up at the end of their gravel driveway, while they sit in the morning waiting petting the pet cow out front in the pasture.

Kids could care a less who their parents are so long as they are loved, taken care of, and know they are safe. I teach a little girl who told me she has two moms and I told her, well, she is one lucky girl — some kids don’t even have one and she gets two. I believe the values that need to be instilled into a child to become a successful, independent, self-sufficient adult that has morals and good values is not determined by the sex of their parents. It is by the character and values they have and set upon themselves and look to instill in their own children. In my opinion, the sex of the parents in the child’s life is not as important as what goes on in the actual raising of the child.